Always trust the injustice, cause it’s not going away
When faced with a difficult question, backed into a corner, treated like shit or made to feel like you have no other choice.. it’s easy to give in and say yes.
When you’re a nice person, with a good heart, empathetic, with feelings.. it’s easy to give in and say yes.
At risk of upsetting anybody, at risk of hurting somebody else’s feelings, at risk of saying no.. it’s easy to give in and say yes.
This applies to everybody. This applies to people that have always said yes, their whole lives. People that have never been anything but in agreement with the rest of the world, to avoid confrontation. People that feel as though they have been worn down so much, people that never used to say yes, but now feel as though they have to. This is for everybody.
This applies to every situation that needs an answer from you. Every situation that requires your input, and on most occasions, ones that haven’t required your input, but ffs you’re going to give it anyway.
Set yourself a criteria. A strict, fuck-it-I’m-saying-no criteria.
Does this affect me?
Will this help me grow?
Does this benefit me?
Does this put me at a disadvantage?
Is this both;
a) beneficial for the other person/people?
b) not detrimental to me?
Study those questions. Let them really sink in. You will know deep down, what your required answers would be. Let your answers be your standard.
Outdated, is the concept, of being overtly courteous, and being so selfless that it effects the running of you and your life.
It is okay to be selfish. It’s okay to make a decision based on what you want to achieve.
Selfish in the sense of no longer being the person that people go to, to get a yes. Being the person that people know they can push over.
Split the word up. Let’s call it self-ish
The term used to describe somebody that is in it for everyone, but also needs to make sure it benefits them too.
It’s a positive descriptive word used to describe someone that is building themselves, as well as others.
“Damn, she’s so selfish. I wish I could stand up for myself like her.”
“I’m in it for you, but I’m also in it for myself. I’ve got a life to lead and a person inside of my that’s dying to grow. I’m in it for the both of us“
When faced with a difficult question, one that may usually have an automated slip-of-the-tongue response, one that would almost always have been met with a yes..
Take a moment. Recall your criteria.
And if it doesn’t sit right, and actually, it doesn’t work that well for you, and in fact, it’s not going to help you grow..
Then let your voice be heard, make that eye contact, firmly stamp your name at the bottom of that email..
“Tonight Abbie, I’m going to be…
“…Unfortunately, Barbara, that doesn’t work for me. I’m going to have to say no on this occasion. I hope you’re well, kind regards..”