C*****

It all started with the ‘C’ word.

And it ended with the ‘F’ word.

‘C*****’ they said. ‘It’s definitely that. No doubt about it.’ It just seems to roll off their tongue. They say it day in, day out. It’s such a normal word to them. But it offended me. Everything around me stopped when I heard it. I replayed it in my head every day. I got up and went to work, and ‘C*****’ rang in my ears. And I questioned their use of the word more than once. I questioned it nightly, or any time I had a spare moment.

C*****, indeed.

A few months down the line from my first introduction to the word. Here we are. ‘C*****’, again.

Using the word like it’s going out of fashion.

It was my Grandad, then my Dad. ‘C*****, it absolutely is.’ If they’ve used that word to us twice, only imagine how many other times they’ve said it if I’ve already heard it twice. ‘The word makes me sick’, I thought, but the more that I said it, the easier it became. It started off as an unfamiliar word, and became a word that rolled off my tongue, too. Along with words like ‘F*****’.

Somehow we find something inside us to overcome the word ‘C*****’. We adapt our lives to work around it. We learn to say it more and talk about it, we can say it to friends and strangers in open conversation and it somehow becomes normal. A word like ‘C*****’ became normal.

‘C*****’ became easier, when ‘F*****’ was there.

I no longer allow ‘C*****’ to hold the power that it did. Yes, it’s there, but so is the choice on how we perceive it.

It has taught me lessons, to appreciate everything now, and to look back on things later. I appreciate ‘F*****’ now, more than ever.

‘F***** *** C*****’

‘ɹǝɔuɐƆ’ and ‘ ʎlᴉɯɐℲ’

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